By Anna McKenzie
In the context of trauma, “adult children” generally refers to those who grew up with parents or caregivers who abused alcohol or drugs. As a result, adult children struggle to reach emotional maturity because their development was hampered by abuse, neglect, and the dysfunctional behavior patterns visited upon them.
Adult children struggle to reach emotional maturity because their development was hampered by abuse, neglect, and the dysfunctional behavior patterns visited upon them.
The dysfunction that adult children learned when they were young can make them more likely to experience further trauma or turn to addiction themselves. That’s why it’s so important for adult children to resolve past trauma — so they can heal, mature, and learn healthy patterns of behavior.
What Is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma typically involves abuse, neglect, violence, or witnessing violence as a child. Trauma is personal and can’t always be defined in these terms; the core characteristic of trauma is perceiving that your life, livelihood, or sense of self is being critically threatened. When children of alcoholics and drug addicts experience trauma, it affects their personal development. The way you think about yourself, your body, your needs, and the world around you may all be altered due to maltreatment from a caregiver.
When children of alcoholics and drug addicts experience trauma, it affects their personal development. The way you think about yourself, your body, your needs, and the world around you may all be altered due to maltreatment from a caregiver.
According to the Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, “Childhood traumas, particularly those that are interpersonal, intentional, and chronic are associated with greater rates of PTSD, PTSS, depression and anxiety, antisocial behaviors, and greater risk for alcohol and substance use disorders.”
Childhood trauma is not always easy to identify, and you may carry it with you into adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood without recognizing how you’ve been affected by it. The good news is you can resolve your trauma, make peace with the past, and recover from or reduce your risk of trauma-induced mental and physical health conditions.
Adult Children: Breaking the Cycle
Adult children of alcoholics (or addicts), often referred to as ACOA, display certain common traits. According to the Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families World Service Organization (ACA), the following are characteristics of adult children:
- Fearing authority figures or angry people
- Difficulty identifying feelings
- Judging yourself without mercy and guessing at what’s “normal”
- Seeing most forms of criticism as a personal attack
- Involving yourself in the problems of others
- Feeling more alive when there’s a crisis
- Feeling immature or like a child inside
- Recalling parents or caregivers using substances or engaging in what you now recognize as dysfunctional behavior
- Recalling a caregiver make excuses for another caregiver’s substance use or addictive behavior
If these characteristics sound familiar, you’re likely dealing with challenges that are common to adult children of alcoholics and addicts. You may be wondering how to break the cycle and not pass on dysfunctional behaviors to the next generation. Breaking the cycle involves a few critical steps:
- Identifying what’s dysfunctional or unhealthy
- Identifying what’s healthy and what it looks like in practice
- Healing from the trauma that can drive the dysfunctional behaviors you learned
While you can practice healthy behaviors without resolving trauma, you may continue to experience setbacks until you heal from the pain of the past.
Healing from Trauma
There are a number of different types of therapy for healing from trauma, especially for adults trying to recover from childhood trauma.
- Somatic therapy – Somatic therapy is about restoring the mind-body connection. Using a series of exercises that create body awareness, you are guided through the process of releasing the energy stored in your body from your traumatic experiences.
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – EMDR involves the use of tapping, music, or mild buzzing sensations as a therapist guides you through the emotions of a traumatic experience. The sensory aspect mimics the rapid eye movement (REM) process in deep sleep that your brain uses to bring closure to information and experiences. As you process your emotions, your brain “puts away” your negative experiences.
- Psychodrama – Psychodrama is a type of group therapy that can be used to provide catharsis and perspective on emotional and relational trauma.
Meadows Senior Fellow Dr. Tian Dayton is an expert in psychodrama. She explains why the process of acting out your experiences with others serves an important purpose in releasing traumatic energy and finding closure. In psychodrama, a person may play the role of themselves in the situation and then also step into the role of the other person.
“A role reversal is the core technique of psychodrama that is psychodrama’s gift to the world,” says Dayton. “There’s a trauma dynamic; we repeat through life those relational dynamics that were traumatizing to us … When we recreate the dynamic … [we] need to explore both sides in order for the healing to be full … [With psychodrama], we want to get what’s in the way out of the way so people can get in touch with their own autonomous healing center and have reignite the faith they have in themselves.”
Treatment for Childhood Trauma
If you’re struggling with the effects of childhood trauma, you can find healing in the discreet, comforting atmosphere of The Meadows Malibu. Our boutique treatment approach allows you to process and resolve trauma in a quiet, personalized environment with our experts. Additionally, our unique Brain Center can help you learn emotional regulation skills. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you heal.