Ignoring your own needs while focusing on the needs of others often results from dysfunctional relationship patterns.
Broken or abusive relationships, poor decision-making, negative consequences, and personal loss may all come as a result of untreated codependency.
What You Need to Know About Codependency
Codependency and control issues can have a wide-ranging negative impact and can often be passed down through generations of unhealthy family relationships. Because codependent people spend their time trying to accommodate and appease others in order to avoid negative outcomes, they often feel out of control. The need to exercise control becomes strong, and it is usually redirected into behaviors that can become compulsory. Codependents may rely on alcohol, drugs, food, or sex to find emotional relief. They may seek to control others or their environment in order to tame the chaos they experience internally.
Codependent individuals may find themselves caught up in addiction or further unhealthy relationships. Because their care-taking response is so strong, they may attract people who are needy, impulsive, and erratic. Broken or abusive relationships, poor decision-making, negative consequences, and personal loss may all come as a result of untreated codependency.
Codependency and Control Issues by the Numbers
- In a survey of college students, 85% of men and 76% of women met the “high to middle” classification for codependency.
- Family stress has been connected to a higher likelihood of codependency.
- Codependency has been correlated with low self-esteem.
- Traditional roles related to women (nurturing and caretaking) may elevate a person’s tendency to develop codependent feelings and behaviors.
Markers for CODEPENDENCY
Symptoms of Codependency
- Lack of trust in self and others
- A sense of guilt related to asserting your own needs
- Always doing more than your share
- Feeling hurt when your efforts are not recognized
- An overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others (and the actions of others)
- A need to control your environment or the behavior of others
- Fear of abandonment or loneliness
- A deep need for approval or validation
- Difficulty establishing healthy boundaries with others
- Chronic anger
- Difficulty adjusting to change
- Difficulty making decisions, identifying feelings, or communicating clearly with others
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